Here I am at the age of 24 and racing towards my mid 20’s. Somehow I feel myself clawing onto the days, weeks and months at the moment, begging September not to come because that means I’ll be turning 25 in that month. The thought of turning 25 this year is terrifying and although it’s not for another 3 months it’s a thought that comes and goes in waves of worry. It’s an awkward kind of limbo kinda age to be, it’s what is deemed as a quarter way through your life. If that doesn’t sound scary enough 25 seems like the time in your life where you’re supposed to have that career down and making progress to working your way up in the food chain of the working world.
I’m not silly in the fact that I wouldn’t acknowledge my post on how to figure you out what to do with your life. Because let’s be honest we probably know what we want to do with our life and obviously I’m not going to ignore the fact that I try to live by the law of attraction and visualising what you want to. Otherwise I feel this would be one big contradictive post. But I can’t help but feel completely an utterly lost.
It’s been 2 years since I finished University, the plan was to go into teaching and save. While as we’re aware teaching didn’t happen I have still ended up working in a school which I love, I think the role of a teaching assistant creates such a different relationship with the children and one that I really do cherish. Although I have always known this is isn’t something I want to do forever, because in the nicest way possible (my colleagues agree) it is a job best for mum’s that can earn while fitting perfectly around their children. While the saving is going well, I long for a lot more happening in my 20’s that isn’t sitting in square room, going to work everyday, putting a large chunk of my savings away each month and doing the mundane things that have seemed to have taken over my life.
Don’t get me wrong, I do have a life. I see friends, we go out for food often, I go to the gym, I have a pretty great job and I’m saving. Yet I still feel so lost.
I thought by this age I would have moved out. Be in a job that makes £20,000 – £25, 000 a year, travelled and seen the world a bit more and just be living a life full of adventure. Hello can someone come and give me a big knock on the head and remind me I don’t live in a Disney movie.
Perhaps I’m in a life rut? I’m just about keeping the boat afloat, not taking any risks in life and then panicking because everyone seems to be kicking their boss arses in the right direction in life and killing it. Whether it be with their careers, housing situations, travels, families everyone seems to be moving forward and I feel like I’m stuck here in the same place, unmoving and not sure where I should be going or what my ‘thing’ is.
I am so desperate to find my calling, that ‘thing’ that I’m good at or begin to live the life I am so desperate to live and that I so clearly visualise every damn day. The thing is about this crisis, rut whatever you want to call it, it just petrifying. I have no idea how to get to the places I dream about. For now I am taking steady steps hoping they are in the right direction. I know they are working towards what I want to do because they bring me joy. I think my problem is I struggle to live in the here and now and just want everything now, the house, the travel experiences, the job. But like I mentioned I know I can’t have it all right this second and that I need to learn to be ok with.
I took this thought to instagram and the messages I received were amazing. It’s so normal for us to all feel a little lost and stuck in a rut at this age. Our twenties are probably the most confusing and messy times in reality. We put this huge pressure on ourselves, or yet society does that we should have travelled by twenty, got a university degree, be acing it in a job related to our degree, have a house, a significant other, think about family and marriage. No wonder why we get lost. We feel we should be doing this and in a sense achieved it all by the time we’re thirty. But then what? What would we do with the rest of our lives?
Nowadays it’s normal for us to change jobs frequently. Gone are the days of careers and settling, we all have too much to give to stay in one place for too long. There is no set age that we should have our shit together. Although we admire those that find their groove and create their lives later on in life, we worry we’ll be one too and we don’t really want to be. But just because you’re in a rut and unsure which path to take, it doesn’t mean you will be in the later life category. We just need to remember there is no right way to do something. You can go travelling later on in life and buy a house first. You can travel then have that career, you may not even have a career you may flitter from jobs and as long as you are earning enough to do what you want thats ok to. It’s about not comparing.
Don’t compare your lives to those of everyone else’s. If you work hard enough and keep pushing to where you want to be even if you’re not 100% where there is you will get there. I recently joined a group ran by the gorgeous Vix Meldrew. I am usually not a believer in joining groups and paying money to be a part of growth in your platforms. I find them a bit like pyramid schemes where the top person gets a lot out of it while us sorry people get fuck all. But with Vix’s Grow and Glow community I couldn’t be more wrong.
The group has given me direction and helped me to keep my head just surfacing the water while I violently continue to flap my legs underneath where no one can see them. I am able to fill my bullet journal with tasks for each day which help me feel productive and like I am doing something, not to mention has opened my eyes too all of the fundamentals things I have missed when creating a brand.
It’s about doing small things that give us happiness and a direction in which we can work with. The famous quote; life starts when you come out of your comfort zone – or something like that has never been truer. If there is a job you want but don’t think you’re qualified enough for, go for it anyway and keep going till you are happy with a job. If you want to travel and leave everything behind for a year, sure do that. If you want to move out and rent a house and then save to buy who says you can’t! You do you. Work at your own pace and don’t let anyone tell you you are doing it wrong.
If like me you are struggling a bit make sure you talk to people, it was a weight of my shoulders when I put it to instagram and I was inundated with messages of people saying they felt the same, they’d quit jobs because of it and all sorts and do you know what good for them! They have now found things they love doing more and made me not feel so alone. I will resurface and find my way out of this rut. But for now I’m trying to just ride the wave.
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