So here is the thing, we live in a day where I feel (I could be wrong) that everyone feels that they need to be moving and doing something all the time. Unless we are sleeping – which we feel guilty about or perhaps eating; although most of us will try to do some scrolling or get a bit of something done during eating times. We never really seem to just stop and be aware of ourselves. If we do stop we feel guilty and think we should or could be doing something to be more productive with our lives. But of course sometimes we need to remember to take time for ourselves, to look after our bodies and minds. It’s important to remember that if we need to sleep well do it, your body will thank you and even simple things that won’t necessarily progress your life as such like doing your washing, reading a book, tidying your house. It’s little things, even something as simple as just picking up things on you bedroom floor isn’t being busy but you’re able to feel productive and still feel like you have accomplished something without having to feel like you should be doing something related to work or life wise to feel productive. Even something as simple as giving yourself some beauty care, whether it be painting your nails, having a long soak, doing a face and/or hair mask. It’s not us being lazy and procrastinating, it’s our way of having down time, giving ourselves some self care to begin to get the bigger things done and the things we deem as life changing accomplishments met.DRESS: STRADIVARIUS | NECKLACES: DEPOP and MISSOMA | BOOTS: OFFICE
Of course there are times where we need to be busy in our lives, but if we want to reach the goals we want to reach and progress to the places we need or want to get to then we need to take some time to ourselves, be kind and just stop. Otherwise the busy i.e. work commitments, gym commitments anything we really work for will surely kill us off and with that our mental and physical health could decline. Now Kayln (who inspired me with this post) did a 2 part podcast on picking up the slack, she said that if we want to pick up the slack we need to be kind to ourselves and in sense picking up the slack can also include self care. She said that her mentality was this: She went to see Drake in concert, she said in the middle of his show he took this half time moment. She didn’t understand why at first, but then she had a realisation that stopping to take a moment, even if it’s just to realise the amount of stuff you need to do if you are wanting to reach goals or really progress in life and take that half time as Drake did to acknowledge where you are in life at that particular moment and that in that little game of life that we play we should all have half times. Times where we check in with ourselves, collect our thoughts, take some deep breaths, hydrate, before we step back into the game. So she decided to call her half time ‘HAFF time’ and she recommends that we all use it, we can use it multiple times throughout the day to stop and collect our thoughts. she said her HAFF time stands for Honesty, Acceptance, Forgiveness and Focus and how basically she uses this to accept where she is in life in order to push yourself to pick up some slack or even just push yourself further.
So breaking it down. To really get yourself in to the HAFF time frame of mind we have to start at the beginning with the H for honesty. Kayln said this can be the hardest thing as we have to be able to be completely honest with telling ourselves exactly where we are in life, even if we don’t want to admit it. Because sometimes we don’t want to be honest, but being honest is about knowing that whatever we did that day or even a whole week is ok. Like if you spent the whole day in bed watching Netflix, that’s ok! It’s just about being honest about where you are in life and not judging yourself and being negative about yourself for doing so. It’s the time when we can stop. Take a breath and ask ourselves. Where exactly are you in life Where are you heading? Where do you want to get to? Are you doing enough and if not what do you need to do to be on the right path? It’s important to be super honest with where you are and where you want to be and then do it, be busy doing what it is you need to do, because you are the only person hindering yourself from reaching your main goals.We need to then be able to accept that it’s ok to be where we are right now in life, it’s ok you just had that nap. Even if you napped all afternoon. It’s ok you bought that top you probably didn’t need. Heck right this minute I had a breakdown because I hadn’t gone to the gym and I am feeling crap about not being where I want to be in life, I’m not doing this as a full time job, I am not able to be creative and create content and write in the hopes I can help at least one person some how and it’s frustrating and disheartening that I have hindered myself from getting healthier and stronger and I am beating myself up that I haven’t continued to write this post this week or done anything remotely pushing me into my career goals and it just feels completely and utterly sucky. But for the first time I am fully aware of why I am feeling crappy those two reasons – and the lack of water – but although I still feel crappy I am aware and I accept that yes I have done this, but I have the weekend and next week to push myself to blog and I have Sunday to do a yoga class and perhaps step into the gym. It’s ok, I know I will get to where I want to be, even if it does take a little while, I will push myself, but I will alway remind myself it’s ok to have dips in the road, but also learn to not see them as dips, but as good things, knowing if I didn’t do what I set out to do I did something else to make myself happy, whether it was napping, watching tv, playing the switch, those things give me joy and the much needed down to occasionally to get back into the game full speed ahead.
I think also it’s important to forgive yourself on having those negative thoughts, forgive yourself for telling yourself off for doing something irrelevant to reaching your goals because anything you do is good for you. Forgive yourself for when your productivity starts to slip, if you find you work better in the morning but you start to get a little lazy and procrastinate in the afternoon or evening or vice versa then that is ok, forgive yourself and go again tomorrow. Your work will still be there it doesn’t matter what time of day you get it done. We all definitely tend to be hardest on ourselves. We are our own worst enemy as people say and like stated above I gave myself a real hard time over not going to the gym or getting enough work done or being too nervous to gym by myself and so I got myself into a real bad funk about it all and honestly what did I achieve? A few tears, dwelling far too much and a boyfriend that has gone to bed without watching a few episodes of Luther together (what a fun Friday night.) None of that has helped me at all. Like Sam was saying, this week is done now, you can’t change it so instead of feeling down about it it should push me to know I don’t want to feel like this again at the beginning of the weekend next week and give me the motivation to push myself this weekend and next week as a whole. Did I listen at the time, of course I didn’t, did I achieve anything from the dwelling no. Who is the winner here? Certainly not me.Focusing, remind yourself, where is it you want to be with your life. What is it you want to achieve and how will you get there? Focus on small steps that allow you to reach your goals and to progress with your life and to where you want to get to. Focussing your positive energy in the right places will allow you to work your butt off on your goals. Set small weekly ones that you can tick off and help to make you feel good like you really have achieved something. You can even add the down time onto your list, because that is still being busy with yourself and allowing your body to recharge, there is no such thing as lazy, we can be busy in life and in taking care of ourselves. For me next week I will focus on writing 2 blog posts and going to the gym 3 times (that can include my Sunday yoga class) I will create some outfits ready for next weekend so I can have more content for my posts and instagram and I will ensure to carry on with posting on pinterest a few times during the day so that my engagement will grow as I feel that has really been benefitting. Small things that I have to focus on to reach my goals and that are also achievable. Tick them off when you have done them if you want to, or if you are into bullet journalling do a habit checker, that way when you have moments of slack you hopefully won’t feel to guilty because you are still on target to reach where you want to be in life. Remember to focus on you, everyones hard working ethos is different, some people may work all hours, some just a few hours. The hours you work doesn’t make you any less or more hard working, if anything it’s not about working harder it’s about working smarter and knocking those habits that perhaps hinder you to allow for you to focus and get it all done in an efficient manner.
The only thing we really need to focus on is ourselves, only we can push ourselves, only we can get ourselves to our goals and sometimes that’s great, it can be really motivating and in other aspects it can be a horrible thing to as we beat ourselves up over having that lazy time. But we need to remember to take care of ourselves to and listen to ourselves. I mean my funk I had this evening, I was able to fully understand it because I sat and listened to myself and really asked myself why I was in a funk and yes this time finding out why I was in a funk did a lot of damage because I got more upset and it ruined a Friday evening. But Kayln said it can be as simple as needing more sleep and really to come to that conclusion sometimes you just really need to take a minute and ask yourself what is wrong, right it down if you need to. Use that HAFF time, it’s important. That will only help you come to the conclusion of why you are in a funk, if you need to sleep go and take a fricken nap, if you haven’t done enough work thats fine start again tomorrow or now if you have the time.But whatever you do, do not compare your busy to somebody else’s. There is no way anybody can get all their work done, 8 hours sleep, work out, socialise with friends, with family, travel the world, go to the cinema, wash, eat, not even superwoman could do all that and feel physically ok in themselves and we all have these such high expectations and then punish ourselves when we don’t achieve them and it’s just silly. We are only humans, we have 24 hours in a day and we beat ourselves up if we feel we are not using it right. But if we are constantly punishing ourselves then the busy times aren’t going to be productive and it’s going to be impossible for us to feel like we are getting anywhere. Tonight I should have just told myself it is so lame that I am feeling like this when like Sam said it is done, the week is done and that’s ok, it’s ok to have lazy days. I mean heck you know what I went to my current full time job everyday this week, and that is enough in itself, I deserved the down time in the evenings. Next week is for focusing on the goals ahead and winning. We all work differently and comparison is the real thief of joy, so focus on you and your goals. Forgive yourself for having the “lazy” times, give yourself a hug and then crack on with those goals so you reach where you want to be, you got this!